Forgiving February

February is dedicated month of love – it’s time to let go of fear and negativity. It’s time to forgive those who may have wronged you and let your life flow with love.

‘Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’

The crucial word here is we forgive…you can ask forever for forgiveness, but to forgive is something we can do now, or anytime you choose. We said the Lords prayer when we were children but now as adults it’s time to live it.

Forgiving others cleanses the heart and frees us to make a new start.

Forgiveness – A story

Shanice had just had her car fixed and went to the garage to pick up her car. As she entered the small office, the mechanic, a typical white geezer, was at the back on the phone, but he acknowledged her as she entered. Shortly, after entering, Shanice was joined by another customer, a white male, and they both waited patiently…

***************

‘It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. ‘

Maya Angelou

‘The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.’

Mahatma Gandhi

Shanice stood at the front of the counter with her credit car in hand waiting to pay her bill. Eventually, the mechanic came out to attend to her. He asked her which car it was and produced the key. He got the card machine ready and suddenly stopped to address the other customer:

‘Oh sorry John mate, didn’t see you there. Were you before her.’ he said and stopped his transaction with Shanice.

To which John replied: ‘No mate, go on, he was before me….I mean she.’

To which Shanice replied: ‘Of course, I’m first. That’s why I am standing at the counter.’

Normally, Shanice would have gotten irate and challenged him, but I’d been working with Shanice for some months on how to deal with these little knocks in everyday life that she was so concerned about. So she calmly collected her car and retreated to her home. At home she sat down quietly and wrote the experience in her diary. Sub-consciously, Shanice was taken back to the 50s and 60s when black-people were always the last to be served in shops, if served at all. So of course all these memories surfaced for her. Regardless of how she had reacted, calmly or with anger, the outcome would have been the same. The car mechanic’s intention was clearly to put her in her place. Shanice felt she had to stay in her place, for imagine what would have happened to her ancestors in the past if they dared to speak out – the fear they must have carried. She still carried that fear, today, deep in her sub-conscious.

Having written it down, Shanice felt better and decided to forgive the car mechanic. Although his intention was clear, how she reacted to it was totally within her control.

In fact, she forgave all white people who had overlooked her in her many years, by trying to serve the white person behind her in a queue.

‘I don’t need to carry around those little everyday knocks,’ she said. ‘That’s why I choose to forgive and just move onwards and upwards.’

Shanice was right of course, forgiveness works wonders for the victim, it’s like a tonic, a pick-me-up. You need never fear anyone and you can face the world with love.

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